Creating a Safe Space for Girls | Girl Scouts of Southeastern Michigan

A safe space is where all Girl Scouts feel that they can be themselves, without explanation or judgment.

Cultivate a space where confidentiality is respected and they can express their true selves.

As a volunteer, the environment you create is just as important as the activities your girls do—it's the key to developing the sort of group where everyone wants to participate.

Recognize & Support Each Girl toggle arrow

You're a role model and a mentor to your girls. Since you play an important role in their lives, they need to know that you consider each of them an important person too. They can weather a poor meeting place or an activity that flops, but they cannot endure being ignored or rejected.

Give a shout-out when you see girls trying their best, not just when they’ve noticeably succeeded.
Emphasize the positive qualities that make each girl worthy and unique.
Be generous with praise and stingy with rebuke.
Help your girls find ways to show acceptance of and support for one another.

Promote Fairness toggle arrow

Girls are sensitive to fairness for all. They forgive mistakes if they are sure you are trying to be fair. They look for fairness in how responsibilities are shared, the handling of disagreements, and your responses to performance and accomplishment.

When possible, ask the girls what they think is fair before decisions are made.
Explain your reasoning and show why you did something.
Be willing to apologize if needed.
Try to see that responsibilities, as well as the chances of feeling important, are equally divided.
Help girls explore and decide for themselves the fair ways of solving problems, carrying out activities, and responding to behavior and accomplishments.

Build Trust toggle arrow

Girls need your belief in them and your support when they try new things and you'll need to show that you won't betray their confidence. Show them you are making an effort to understand them as individuals.

Inspire them to think for themselves and use their own judgment.
Encourage them to make important decisions in the group.
Assist them in correcting their own mistakes.
Support girls in trusting one another—let them see firsthand how trust can be built, lost, regained, and strengthened.

Inspire Open Communication toggle arrow

Girls want someone who will listen to what they think, feel, and want to do. They like having someone they can talk to about the important things happening in their lives.

Listen to them. Respond with words and actions.
Speak your mind openly when you are happy or concerned about something and encourage them to do the same.
Leave the door open for them to seek advice, share ideas and feelings, and propose plans or improvements.
Help them see how open communication can result in action, discovery, a better understanding of self and others, and a more comfortable climate for fun and accomplishment.

Managing Conflict toggle arrow

Conflicts and disagreements are an inevitable part of life, and—if handled constructively—they show Girl Scouts they can overcome their differences of opinion, exercise diplomacy, and improve their communication and relationships. Respecting others and being a sister to every Girl Scout means that shouting, verbal abuse, or physical confrontations are never warranted and cannot be tolerated in the Girl Scout environment.

When a conflict arises in your troop, get those involved to sit down together and talk calmly in a nonjudgmental manner, keeping in mind that each party may need some time—a few days or a week—to calm down before being able to do this. Talking in this way might feel uncomfortable and difficult now, but it lays the groundwork for working well together in the future. Whatever you do, do not spread your complaint around to others—that won't help the situation and causes only embarrassment and anger.

GSSEM encourages troop leaders to sign up for an upcoming Managing Girl Scout Behavior webinar to learn a four-step approach to correcting Girl Scouts' behavior in the troop setting. For navigating disagreements with adults, view the Difficult Conversations webinar, which gives volunteers tools for how to have and structure conversations with caregivers and volunteers in a disagreement. All families should have a signed Parent/Guardian Agreement on file with the troop every year, which has families agree to support the troop by engaging in positive behaviors in a Girl Scout setting.

If a conflict persists, be sure you explain the matter to your troop's volunteer support team. If the volunteer support team cannot resolve the issues satisfactorily (or if the problem involves a volunteer on the troop/group's volunteer support team), please contact your Member Support Specialist. If they are unable to resolve the issues satisfactorily, Girl Scouts of Southeastern Michigan will inform you of the next steps. Please refer to the Volunteer Relations Process Short & Snappy on gsLearn for more information.

Communicating Effectively with Girls of Any Age toggle arrow

Make sure your words and intentions create a connection with troop members. Keep in mind how important the following approaches are.

Listen
Listening to girls, instead of telling them what to think, feel, or do (no "you should") is the first step in building a trusting relationship and helping them take ownership of their Girl Scout experience.
Be Honest
If you're not comfortable with a topic or activity, it's okay to say so. No one expects you to be an expert on every topic. Ask for alternatives or seek out volunteers with the required expertise. Owning up to mistakes—and apologizing for them—goes a long way.
Be Open to Real Issues
Outside of Girl Scouts, girls may be dealing with issues like relationships, peer pressure, school, money, drugs, and other serious topics. When you don't know, listen. Also, seek help from GSSEM's Member Support team if you need assistance or more information than you currently have.
Show Respect.
Girls often say that their best experiences were when adults treated them as equal partners. Being spoken to as young adults will reinforce that their opinions matter and they deserve respect.
Offer Options
Girls' needs and interests change and being flexible shows them that you respect them and their busy lives. Be ready with age-appropriate guidance and parameters no matter what they choose to do.
Stay Current
Show your girls that you're interested in their world by asking them about the TV shows and movies they like; the books, magazines, or blogs they read; the social media influencers they follow; and the music they listen to.
Remember LUTE
Listen, Understand, Tolerate, and Empathize. Try using the LUTE method to thoughtfully respond when a girl is upset, angry, or confused.
- Listen. Hear her out, ask for details, and reflect on what you hear; try "What happened next?" or "What did she say?"
- Understand. Show that you understand where she's coming from with comments such as, "So, what I hear you saying is..." or "I understand why you're unhappy," or "Your feelings are hurt; mine would be, too."
- Tolerate. You can tolerate the feelings that she just can't handle right now on her own. Let her know that you're there to listen and accept how she is feeling about the situation. Say something like: "Try talking to me about it. I'll listen," or "I know you're mad—talking it out helps," or "I can handle it—say whatever you want to."
- Empathize. Let her know you can imagine feeling what she's feeling with comments such as, "I'm sure that really hurts" or "I can imagine how painful this is for you."

Remember, you don't have to solve the girls' problems for them or have all of the answers. Ask them what they would like to do about the situation and how you can support them.

Addressing the Needs of Older Girls toggle arrow

Let these simple tips guide you when working with teenage girls:

Think of yourself as a "guide on the side"—a partner, a coach, or a mentor, not a "leader."
Ask girls what rules they need for safety and what group agreements they need to be a good team. When girls take the lead in establishing group rules, they're more likely to stick to them.
Understand that girls need time to talk, unwind, and have fun together.
Ask what they think and what they want to do.
Encourage girls to speak their minds.
Provide structure but don't micromanage.
Give everyone a voice in the group—understanding that "speaking up" may look different for each girl. For some girls, it might mean sharing their ideas in front of the entire group; for others, it could mean submitting a written response or contributing as part of a group.
Treat girls like partners.
Don't repeat what's said in the group to anyone outside of it (unless necessary for a girl's safety). See "Report Concerns" below to understand the guard rails.

When Sensitive Topics Come Up toggle arrow

It's an amazing feeling when your Girl Scouts put their trust in you—and when they do, they may come to you with some of the issues they are facing such as bullying, peer pressure, dating, athletic and academic performance, and more. Some of these issues may be considered sensitive by families who may have opinions or input about how, and whether, Girl Scouts should cover these topics with their girls.

Girl Scouts welcomes and serves girls and families from a wide spectrum of faiths and cultures. When girls wish to participate in discussions or activities that could be considered sensitive—even for some—put the topic on hold until you have spoken with the parents and received guidance from GSSEM.

When Girl Scout activities involve sensitive issues, your role is that of a caring adult volunteer who can help girls acquire skills and knowledge in a supportive atmosphere, not someone who advocates a particular position.

Neither Girl Scouts of Southeastern Michigan nor Girl Scouts of the USA does not take a position or develop materials on issues relating to human sexuality, birth control, or abortion. We feel our role is to help girls develop self-confidence and good decision-making skills that will help them make wise choices in all areas of their lives. We believe parents and caregivers, along with schools and faith communities, are the primary sources of information on these topics.

Parents/caregivers make all decisions regarding their girl's participation in Girl Scout program that may be of a sensitive nature. As a volunteer leader, you must get written parental permission for any locally planned program offering that could be considered sensitive. Included on the permission form should be the topic of the activity, any specific content that might create controversy, and any action steps the girls will take when the activity is complete. Be sure to have a form for each girl and keep the forms on hand in case a problem arises. For activities not sponsored by Girl Scouts, find out in advance (from organizers or other volunteers who may be familiar with the content) what will be presented, and follow GSSEM's guidelines for obtaining written permission.

For more information on sensitive topics, please view GSSEM's stance on religious and social issues at www.gssem.org/issues.

Report Concerns toggle arrow

There may be times when you worry about the health and well-being of girls in your group. Alcohol, drugs, sex, bullying, abuse, depression, and eating disorders are some of the issues girls may encounter. You are on the frontlines of girls' lives which places you in a unique position to identify a situation in which a girl may need help. If you believe a girl is at risk of hurting herself or others, your role is to promptly bring that information to her parent/caregiver or the council so she can get the expert assistance she needs. Your concern about a girl's well-being and safety is taken seriously and GSSEM will guide you in addressing these concerns.

Here are a few signs that could indicate a girl needs expert help:

Marked changes in behavior or personality (for example, unusual moodiness, aggressiveness, or sensitivity).
Declining academic performance and/or inability to concentrate.
Withdrawal from school, family activities, or friendships.
Fatigue, apathy, or loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
Sleep disturbances.
Increased secretiveness.
Deterioration in appearance and personal hygiene.
Eating extremes, unexplained weight Joss, distorted body image/efforts to hide their body.
Tendency toward perfectionism (i.e. mistakes are considered unacceptable, unwillingness to start or try something for fear of failure, belief there is only one way to do something).
Giving away prized possessions; preoccupation with the subject of death.
Unexplained injuries such as bruises, burns, or fractures.
Avoidance of eye contact or physical contact.
Excessive fearfulness or distrust of adults.
Abusive behavior toward other children, especially younger ones, or animals.

If you notice any of these signs in one of your girls, GSSEM recommends referring the girl to experts at school or in the community. Share your concern with the girl's family, if this is feasible, but only after seeking the girl's consent. Also, GSSEM has included information on how to talk to girls about eating disorders, anxiety, and depression in Senior/Ambassador Grade Level Essentials found on gsLearn. GSSEM also offers Youth Mental Health First Aid training, which volunteers may register for via the Event List at www.gssem.org/events.

Physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse of girls is forbidden. Please refer to Safety Activity Checkpoints for Girl Scouts of Southeastern Michigan's policies regarding physical or sexual abuse, youth violence and bullying, and child abuse.

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